I think the thing that I say more than anything else is, “Be nice!”
My kids, oh they hear this ALL of the time! When we talk to each other, to others, just BE NICE! I always tell them there is life or death in the tongue and our words are either bringing life to someone or it’s not. The way we treat people is so important to ourselves and to others.
I would say that most people who are like, in your face, gotta make a point, make a statement, LISTEN TO ME, kind of people, most of them are really yelling out, “I am insecure and need some attention!” So this, and knowing this, gives me grace to extend to someone. Because being nice doesn’t mean being nice to only those that will be nice back.
A friend just quoted this to me, “Telling me I’m ugly does not make you pretty.” Such a true statement.
I always tell my kids as well, ‘ putting someone down does not elevate yourself’.
I heard Corvan ask Jordan this morning, “do you like the librarian?” Jor said, “yah I guess.” I asked Corv if he likes her and why, he said, “yes, because she is nice to me.”
We live in a world who wants to be heard. People are hurting, people are insecure, people try to demand love instead of gaining kindness by something he/she is doing, rather than something being done to him/her.
A couple of months ago I was going thru Wendy’s drive thru. (yes they know me. Ice tea and small fry with salt, sweet and sour please) The girl at the window was just reaming her co-worker. To me it looked like for no good reason but to try and make herself look bigger. I couldn’t help it, I just blurted out, “BE NICE!” It was like it stopped her in her tracks and I don’t know if she just sees me coming so she turns on the ‘be nice’ button but she seems all about being nice since then.
Right now I am dealing with my son and something I don’t agree with on some instruction that he has received from a coach. It wasn’t nice the way that he did it. Momma bear wants to come out and scratch eye balls but I am choosing to deal with my son and be nice with a point. I think it in return will end up being good on both ends.
Most people, I try to genuinely give them the benefit of the doubt, that inside they are nice and that they really are just having a bad day or that they handled a situation poorly.
Trying to put yourself in someone else’s shoes usually helps put perspective on the situation.
We never know what is going on behind closed doors and why people make the decisions they make, but kindness, rather than judgement will get you further to make a point if one needs to be made.
Being mean………is just being mean, have you heard the term ‘kill him with kindness?’ It works, it does.
I talk to us girls, Oh we know that we can be manipulative bitches. It started way back with Adam and Eve. We all have it in us to be mean. We must fight against it, we MUST!
So, in all of this, yes there are times to be assertive and maybe call someone out of something. But, I’d say most of the time, speak only when it’s important to speak, be wise about the words used.
And remember, God looks on the inside not the outside, we need to try and do the same to those around us.
I’m two weeks late on this post. Two weeks late because I want to put my head under the covers and scream like a two year old and yell, “NOOOOOOOO!!!!!” Brayden turned 16. He is so busy with his little life that we didn’t really do much celebrating. I took him to a burrito stand that he likes after football practice and I watched him eat it in the car while we watched the boys at their football practice. He didn’t even seem to care. This was today, and I still can’t look at the picture because it brings back the word ‘independence’ . I don’t do well with this. First day of driving to school
16 things about this kid that I love……..
He loves Jesus and you see this by his actions
He doesn’t have favorites.
He likes the greatest to the least. He doesn’t pass judgement.
I will say something about someone and he just shrugs his shoulders or smiles at me
He loves extreme sports. He loves to mountain bike, ski of cliffs, water ski, hike, ride horses…….
He’s a hard worker
. He is super good with kids (my boys think he is the best thing EVER)
He’s genuine He holds a high moral standard
He’s a team player
He’s tall and handsome
He likes junk food (ugh)
He likes the finer things (I tell him he better get a job one day to match his taste)
He plays hard
He sleeps hard
He is a friend
Brayden is heavy into the football season. Last weekend he got an interception, Oh gosh, I asked him if it surprised him as much as it did all of us in the stands. He said, “Ummm, YES!” He’s number 40 there on the end
Happy birthday Brayden!
Oh what a fast, furious, fantastic, fun filled weekend!
The girls and I got together to spend some much needed sister time together and then together went to honor our Uncle and Aunt on their 50th anniversary.
Let’s just say this…..it was a PARTEE!!!! From the beginning to the end, all of it! We did such girlie things, I just don’t get to do that very often so for me it was a complete HIT!
We lounged by the pool…..um, we felt like movie stars I think.
(you can tell I’m the old one, trying to preserve my skin with MY hat because as they kept reminding me I was the oldest)
We then got ready and went for a stroll thru some shops, found an amazing place to eat, got our nails done, and then ended the day by lounging in our room eating cheese, crackers, and a little wine (beer for me). Who does this? We do, once every 7 years. Isn’t that pitiful?
off to shop
Sister Sha, I didn’t know she had it in her. This girl has learned how to shop! One thing about Shauna she always is so good at adapting to the environment that she lives in. At one time she was milking a goat and making cheese, then another was living in Uganda and eating beans and rice, and then now she is shopping and drinking wine. This is a beautiful quality about her. She dives in and makes the best out of whatever is handed to her. It is so much fun!
Jenay and I flew in on the plane together and met the sisters there in Phoenix, AZ airport.
Tanz and I ran together the first day, this was so much fun, we sweated our brains out because I am not use to this heat, she being the Texas girl did better in this area than me. The next day I ran next to a ‘wash’ with lots of other runners. Super cool, and a first.
We all live to serve the Lord and this is the biggest and best part of us being together. It is natural, easy, and relaxing to be in the same mind set of one another. I seriously can just let me be me and don’t feel judgement or have to be on guard about anything because they KNOW my heart and where we stand even though we rarely get to see one another. I’d say the other thing…..they know my humor, I’m not sure it is understood so very often.
Then we got all gussied up for Uncle Dan and Aunt Diana’s party.
Us with Uncle Dan, my dad’s twin brother.
With the cousins and my aunt in there too. What is it? In every picture my mouth is WIDE open, I was laughing and smiling alot.
My aunt was honing in for a great big SMOOCH! He’s w.a.i.t.i.n.g……
This day too, was sister Shauna’s birthday. We went to the Cheese factory and celebrated her.
All in all, it was great times. The boys did good here at home. Jim had a full schedule of football Friday night and Saturday for the other two. Then they all headed to the races that evening. They made it just fine without me, but glad to see each other when I got home too.
Thank you Lord for such a blessed weekend. I’m on top of the world!
Layton, I do love him. He makes me so proud and so exasperated all at the same time. I talk to people who have gone before me and they always shake their head, “Yipppppp,” and then they have a laugh behind it with a shake of the head in agreement. And usually that is all they give me, again there is no manual to look at for the different stages we go thru with our kids from babies to big.
This summer, describing life with Layton would be three words, “FIGHTING FOR INDEPENDENCE”, it seriously is going to kill me.
The thing is I GET IT! I do! In fact I would hate for him to be all about his Mommy and never be reaching out to learn things and be his own person. This is NORMAL, I get that! They warn, that in the boy teen years that they will do is break away from Mom and go more towards what the father has to offer, don’t take offense to this, for it is NORMAL. At times it can really sting, but then you kind of just keep that to yourself because you are happy to see the relationship between a father and a son grow. THEN, they graduate, and it’s awkward. That man child wants to break from everything and make his own decisions, his own life, his own money, his own way, his own, on and on we go……
It’s NORMAL and I don’t expect anything less. In fact, these past couple of years Layton has been on the front of my prayer radar because it seems like that the things that he has known in this home, the things that are expected of him, and the things that have been instilled in him, making Jesus the center, his work ethic, his character, I could go on….. this is when it really shows if it went deep and STUCK!
Sure, we all mess up, and I always say to Jim that is no excuse for we always strive to have our kids do better than we ever did.
Layton is doing so well, super proud of his accomplishments. His work ethic, his decision making, he really is doing what he should be doing. He l lives at home for the time being and I don’t think I’d have it any other way. I think it would be silly for him to be spending all his hard earned money on just making a living when he could be saving that money when living at home. BUT, that also brings up conflict around here because I still have a household to run and we all have responsibilities to keep it running smoothly. I’m not talking anything big, it’s the littlest of things, things that he learned when he was 4 years old.
Examples being, when you are done with your plate, scrape it, rinse it, put in the dishwasher, SIMPLE right? Or another one, “if you want your clothes washed place IN your hamper, not next to, IN, otherwise forget it, SIMPLE right? Or, “take your shoes off at the door, always and forever, SIMPLE right? Wipe down the sink in the bathroom, SIMPLE right? Let me know where you are going when you leave the house and say good bye, not to control him but it’s common courtesy. When you are out, let me know when you will be home, SIMPLE!!
Ok, but apparently it’s not and by me asking these things of him still, ever since he was just tiny all of the sudden have left his brain and he forgot all of this. I’ve become the nag from hell. I think I’m crazy, one minute I’m thanking the Lord for all that he has accomplished in him and happy with what he is doing and the next I SERIOUSLY WANT TO KILL HIM! I can blink my eyes and that is how fast I change my thought pattern of what I’m thinking about him. He wants to be treated like a man of the house and for the most part is acting like one by providing for himself and living his life, and then there is the side that went infant on me again.
It’s weird, It’s just weird, that is all there is to it. That is the best way to explain it I suppose.
So, here he is……he has a love for the woods, he has a love for cutting down trees. He spent his whole summer learning a trade that he loves so much. He learned ALOT and worked so hard all the while on a waiting list to get into the lineman apprenticeship.
My folks, they see this in him and know that if my grandpa was still alive he’d be so proud of his’ logging sense’, it must be in the genes for he loved it too.
But then……he got the call, he now has put his saw down for the time being, and is an official apprentice for the lineman union. He is learning all kinds of new things again, enjoying a trade that is so suiting to who he is. I really do love watching the Lord guide him in what he is doing. I’m always checking, “did you discuss this with the Lord?” His answer, “Yes, Mom.” That is all I care about right there.
(of course,” please don’t exasperate me and PUT YOUR DISH IN THE DISHWASHER!”)
Summer is here, school is just around the corner. I’m holding on to what is now and the happenings of the summer. So a recap here…..and then, I’ll work on succumbing to the fall being on it’s way ok? So, let me have my moment!
Jordan and I did the 5K color run together. Well, kind of together, he smoked me and left me behind about 20 ft. into the race, but we had a blast.
We did alot of swimming in the lake near by……
Navigating the little fishing boat, Jordan and Ruby!
Hangin’ and enjoying watching my boys jump from a rope swing into the water.
Some days called for just hangin’ with a friend and doing nothing.
Brayden and my endurance ride.
An invite to play on a boat with friends……
Christian and Brayden brothers in the best of friends sense.
Brayden, giving us some more of his action. This kid, he has had a great summer. He has gone from Down Hill mountain biking in Whistler, Canada to water skiing, to hiking a mountain with Christian. They hiked in and made camp, went to the top of the mountain to see a view that was breath taking the next morning and seeing mountain goats below. One adventure after another, this is what this kid LOVES!
My dear friend, she is one of the best, I love you Tami!
We had a garage sale, my first and my last, I hated it, I made not a dime, I can’t sell anything. I pretty much gave it all away, I’m sticking to the Boys Ranch or Good Will from now on!
And this is taken before the boys went on a dirt bike ride with dad in the forest! They had a blast!
Corv, he also got to do some pretty special things this summer. He took a trip on an airplane to go see my niece with her new baby and spend a week. They did all kinds of fun stuff. He also LOVES riding his bike right now. Quite the little hot dog!
Well, that is a pretty good recap. I’m saving a couple for another post, but you are getting the jist. It has been a hot fun filled summer. Thank you Lord!