I woke up this morning about 3 AM with head FULL of the things ahead. Nothing surprising or that I didn’t already know was coming. It is actually the ‘usual’. But, the past couple of weeks it hasn’t been the usual. The holidays and all of the ‘norm’ of this and that’s was not there. I really found myself thinking a full thought, drinking a cup of tea while sitting, without putting a load of laundry in, starting the dishwasher, and getting a home school task worked out before finishing the cup. At that moment when I should be snoozin, I could feel myself gearing up! I got up, because I know myself, and if I don’t address it all on paper I will keep mulling it over in my head over and over and get more and more anxious. So, I got up and listed it all out, and went to bed and was able to go back to sleep. These past couple of weeks, I think I liked myself and I was liked a bit better when I wasn’t multi-tasking so much. I think I am going to be a little more purposeful AGAIN about ‘living in the moment’. It is an adjustment for sure and one I keep having to try again, I slip right back into old habits.
Yesterday, New Year’s Day, I went for a run in new territory, that always makes for a fun run, made a late breakfast, sat down with the whole family and we ate together. Went out to mess with the horses a bit, came back in and sat to play a game of rummy with the boys (including Jim) He kept calling me a cheater….only because I was winning BIG! But when I looked up at the clock for the first time this day it was 2:30! I nearly died, I didn’t even take a shower yet!
So, again today, after a great day at the dirt bike races with the boys, on the way home again, I could feel the anxiety building! Monday is coming, school, lunches, sports,bible study, more in the salon,schedules, schedules, schedules, it’s all good and I do love every thing. Task, time, task, time… I am a task person, a scheduled person, I thrive in this environment, but at the same time it was a nice break that really refreshed and rejuvenated me.
My prayer this season is that I be in the moment, be still and know He is God, take time to listen. I do love this time in my life with my kids and I want to savor each stage, each moment, I don’t want to miss it because I need to get to the next thing. Life places many things on our plate, that’s life…but, I plan to be more purposeful of what is on it, more prayerful about what takes up my time and energy.
All in all it has been a restful good break and am looking forward to getting back to the norm. Jordan just came in and told me, “school is tomorrow, it is 9:00 and it was my bedtime!”
So, good night!