I took a little hiatus from blogging for a while. I missed hearing and seeing what was going on out there with all!
So, oh my, yesterday was Brayden’s first day, back into the school system he goes. On the way to taking him to school I was having a hard time not getting emotional. So in doing this, I squeeze my nose, fan my face with my hands, my eyes get all blood shot, it’s ugly, really ugly. Why can’t I be one of those that cries and it’s just sweet? NOT ME! Ugly cry was coming on. Brayden was sitting next to me, looking straight ahead but eyes turned towards me, like, “if I ignore this she will not do this!” Corvan is watching me out the rear view mirror from the back and half way there he pipes up and says, “MOM, you have got to suck it up, you are going to look like Rudolph when you take Brayden into the school!” It kind of broke it up a little and we all started laughing and I got myself together enough to send him off with a smile.
The next stop, was a hair cut. When I got to Marda, my intuitive friend and hairdresser, I told her I wanted a new do and she said, “I KNEW IT! Every time you have a baby you get your hair cut off, and any major change, THERE GOES THE HAIR!” She’s right…..Every time. But, I love it!
So, now my two little ones are home with me for the moment and taking it all in. I am having such a hard time with this change. I have not been in this house without a babe with me from the day since Layton was born and he is now 16 years old. It really has rocked my world, just trying to figure out where I fit in this picture. I won’t be lacking of things to do, that is not my issue. I have many things on the to do list and excited about that part. But my kids, in all of their noisiness, issues, tears, and laughing I am scared of the loneliness I think. I also think the questioning of my ‘worthiness’ kicks in about now as well. It is bitter sweet, it is change…..
On another note, got pictures of the pups before they leave the house hold this weekend. I think Ruby has done an amazing job at being Momma but I think she is ready to be what we call, ‘be normal dog again’. We let her in on the mat in the kitchen like we always have in the mornings so that she can feel like ‘normal dog again’! But, this family sure has enjoyed these pups, they are P.R.E.C.I.O.U.S!!! They are going to their new homes this weekend.