My oldest, love him, and exasperated all in the same breath!

Layton, I do love him. He makes me so proud and so exasperated all at the same time. I talk to people who have gone before me and they always shake their head, “Yipppppp,” and then they have a laugh behind it with a shake of the head in agreement.  And usually that is all they give me, again there is no manual to look at for the different stages we go thru with our kids from babies to big.

This summer,  describing life with Layton would be three words, “FIGHTING FOR INDEPENDENCE”, it seriously is going to kill me.

The thing is I GET IT! I do! In fact I would hate for him to be all about his Mommy and never be reaching out to learn things and be his own person. This is NORMAL, I get that! They warn, that in the boy teen years that  they will do is break away from Mom and go more towards what the father has to offer, don’t take offense to this, for it is NORMAL. At times it can really sting, but then you kind of just keep that to yourself because you are happy to see  the relationship between a father and a son grow. THEN, they graduate, and it’s awkward. That man child wants to break from everything and make his own decisions, his own life, his own money, his own way, his own, on and on we go……

It’s NORMAL and I don’t expect anything less. In fact, these past couple of years Layton has been on the front of my prayer radar because it seems like that the things that he has known in this home, the things that are  expected of him, and the things that have been instilled in him, making  Jesus  the center, his work ethic, his character, I could go on….. this is when it really shows if it went deep and STUCK!

Sure, we all mess up, and I always say to Jim that is no excuse for we always strive to have our kids do better than we ever  did.

Layton is doing so well, super proud of his accomplishments. His work ethic, his decision making, he really is doing what he should be doing. He l lives at home for the time being and I don’t think I’d have it any other way. I think it would be silly for him to be spending all his hard earned money on just making a living when he could be saving that money when living at home. BUT, that also brings up conflict around here because I still have a household to run and we all have responsibilities to keep it running smoothly. I’m not talking anything big, it’s the littlest of things, things that he learned when he was 4 years old.

Examples being, when you are done with your plate, scrape it, rinse it, put in the dishwasher, SIMPLE right? Or another one, “if you want your clothes washed place IN your hamper, not next to, IN, otherwise forget it, SIMPLE right? Or, “take your shoes off at the door, always and forever, SIMPLE right?  Wipe down the sink in the bathroom, SIMPLE right? Let me know where you are going when you leave the house and say good bye, not to control  him but it’s common courtesy. When you are out, let me know when you will be home, SIMPLE!!

Ok, but apparently it’s not and by me asking these things of him still, ever since he was just tiny all of the sudden have left his brain and he forgot all of this. I’ve become the nag from hell. I think I’m crazy, one minute I’m thanking the Lord for all that he has accomplished in him and happy with what he is doing and the next I SERIOUSLY WANT TO KILL HIM! I can blink my eyes and that is how fast I change my thought pattern of what I’m thinking about him.  He wants to be treated like a man of the house and for the most part is acting like one by providing for himself and living his life, and then there is the side that went infant on me again.

It’s weird, It’s just weird, that is all there is to it. That is the best way to explain it I suppose.

So, here he is……he has a love for the woods, he has a love for cutting down trees. He spent his whole summer learning a trade that he loves so much. He learned ALOT and worked so hard all the while on a waiting list to get into the lineman apprenticeship.

My folks, they see this in him and know that if my grandpa was still alive he’d be so proud of  his’ logging sense’, it must be in the genes for he loved it too.

layton logger

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But then……he got the call, he now has put his saw down for the time being, and is an official apprentice for the lineman union. He is learning all kinds of new things again, enjoying a trade that is so suiting to who he is. I really do love watching the Lord guide him in what he is doing. I’m always checking, “did you discuss this with the Lord?” His answer, “Yes, Mom.” That is all I care about right there.

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(of course,” please don’t exasperate me and PUT YOUR DISH IN THE DISHWASHER!”)

September 2, 2014 - 5:19 pm

Brandee Shafer - He is so handsome hanging so far from the ground, and you are so very brave. I’ll be praying for his safety.

September 3, 2014 - 8:46 am

Jenay - Love that boy!!!! Yep…they are a challenge. Sister, you know I can relate to it all. Love ya!!! I’m proud of all he is doing and I know you are too.

September 6, 2014 - 10:17 am

Dena Leigh Carter - Marlece! Thanks for your post, you really put your heart and feelings into this. Tis good to put it down, to write about it. I can imagine that experiencing your oldest “rustle” out of the nest is difficult. Your oldest is your first baby..that is significant. As you feel pangs, you also said, you have more baby birds in the nest that also need care. Be kind to yourself, you are doing great. You and Layton are learning to grow and change, you are learning new roles. The whole family is! Exciting really. I’ve been noticing my own flow-and-resistance to change and I tell myself to keep up, listen to Spirit, be gentle, do what needs to be done. Those are my mantras lately:) Love your writings, it is inspirational to witness your sharing. Thank you dear Sister! Love Dena

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