I think the thing that I say more than anything else is, “Be nice!”
My kids, oh they hear this ALL of the time! When we talk to each other, to others, just BE NICE! I always tell them there is life or death in the tongue and our words are either bringing life to someone or it’s not. The way we treat people is so important to ourselves and to others.
I would say that most people who are like, in your face, gotta make a point, make a statement, LISTEN TO ME, kind of people, most of them are really yelling out, “I am insecure and need some attention!” So this, and knowing this, gives me grace to extend to someone. Because being nice doesn’t mean being nice to only those that will be nice back.
A friend just quoted this to me, “Telling me I’m ugly does not make you pretty.” Such a true statement.
I always tell my kids as well, ‘ putting someone down does not elevate yourself’.
I heard Corvan ask Jordan this morning, “do you like the librarian?” Jor said, “yah I guess.” I asked Corv if he likes her and why, he said, “yes, because she is nice to me.”
We live in a world who wants to be heard. People are hurting, people are insecure, people try to demand love instead of gaining kindness by something he/she is doing, rather than something being done to him/her.
A couple of months ago I was going thru Wendy’s drive thru. (yes they know me. Ice tea and small fry with salt, sweet and sour please) The girl at the window was just reaming her co-worker. To me it looked like for no good reason but to try and make herself look bigger. I couldn’t help it, I just blurted out, “BE NICE!” It was like it stopped her in her tracks and I don’t know if she just sees me coming so she turns on the ‘be nice’ button but she seems all about being nice since then.
Right now I am dealing with my son and something I don’t agree with on some instruction that he has received from a coach. It wasn’t nice the way that he did it. Momma bear wants to come out and scratch eye balls but I am choosing to deal with my son and be nice with a point. I think it in return will end up being good on both ends.
Most people, I try to genuinely give them the benefit of the doubt, that inside they are nice and that they really are just having a bad day or that they handled a situation poorly.
Trying to put yourself in someone else’s shoes usually helps put perspective on the situation.
We never know what is going on behind closed doors and why people make the decisions they make, but kindness, rather than judgement will get you further to make a point if one needs to be made.
Being mean………is just being mean, have you heard the term ‘kill him with kindness?’ It works, it does.
I talk to us girls, Oh we know that we can be manipulative bitches. It started way back with Adam and Eve. We all have it in us to be mean. We must fight against it, we MUST!
So, in all of this, yes there are times to be assertive and maybe call someone out of something. But, I’d say most of the time, speak only when it’s important to speak, be wise about the words used.
And remember, God looks on the inside not the outside, we need to try and do the same to those around us.