I have said it before, “God has overly and abundantly blessed me in the friend department.” I have never taken this for granite and I cherish it.
I know many women who say, “my husband is my best friend,” well, ok, if I treated Jim with the fast talk and the highs in my voice and the lows with my drama hands, then the tears and the laughter, I think he would tear up in confusion. I also know many girls who say they don’t have a friend but then have a standing date with a psychologist/counselor to air out her feelings. Ok, so she is treating the person she pays to basically be her friend. There are all kinds of reasons and excuses why one does or does not have a friend. I always tell my kids to have a friend is to be a friend. Treat another as you want to be treated.
I love my friends and in the past couple of years I’ve had heart breaks in some friendships that have really affected me daily. These friendships that became distant from me weren’t out of any particular thing that I can put my finger on they chose to just distance themselves from me. So, I’ve been talking to God about it a lot because as I said my heart is broken. I think, well maybe this way I will speak to God more rather than a friend but then after this time has gone by it’s almost as if God has become a little more distant because I’m not hashing things out with a friend on what God’s perspective is so to have realizations of what I hadn’t thought of before, or praying with my friend, or giving praise with a friend. It all just hangs tight inside of my chest like it is going to explode most of the time.
Doing life with that friend, a phone call, a text that only you two understand, running with a friend, having lunch or coffee (that’s what we do around here even though I don’t drink coffee, iced green tea please), the other day I went on a run with a friend and we were hashing out a little life to one another and realized we had just gone 7 miles when we intended to do 4 1/2. To be frank with a friend about a marriage issue or a kid issue……….it’s golden.
I think I have buried these feelings for a while because it hurts really bad when the issue comes to the surface so I tend to just stuff but I’ve been reading in the bible about friendships and Jesus had them, David had a best friend, Paul and Timothy were close like a father to a son, it goes on and on. God believes in friendship, so it’s been setting high on the surface of my heart and I walk around on the verge of tears. I know the Lord will heal my heart, it’s just going to take time because of the investment that has been deposited into my heart over the years with these friendships. I miss them and have thought about stepping out to make one more effort but at this point scared to be shut down AGAIN! It’s clear what they want and I need to honor that and love them from a distance, because maybe it’s not about me at all.
I still do have many friends I love and cherish and making more. I still need to keep my heart open and not close it off because of hurt with someone else, this is the challenge. I will keep digging deep with those that want to dig with me.
Your Face Mirrors Your Heart
17 You use steel to sharpen steel,
and one friend sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17